Posted by: enjoybirth | October 3, 2012

The awesomeness of T1

Wow, it has been quite awhile since I blogged here.  ALL summer in fact.

I just wanted to say a few awesome things about T1.

1.  He choose to go to seminary.  He is only in 8th grade, but because he is 14 he can go to early morning seminary.  I was like –

I’m not driving you….  if you find your own way you can go.

So he did.  I don’t wake him up in the morning, he gets up and goes.  WOW.

2.  He comes home from school and does his homework.  No complaining, no me telling him to do it.

3. He is creative and interesting.  As I type this he is sewing hammocks that someone from our ward is buying.  T1 got into hammock camping somehow… I have no idea.  But he bought a sewing machine a year ago and made a hammock for himself.  Now he is making them for others.

4.  He is a good kid.  A youth from church is having trouble finding good friends, they all swear.  His mom said, “Just be friends with boys who don’t swear.”  He said, “Then I can only be friends with T1.”

5.  He helps me whenever I ask, usually pretty willingly.  Last night it was so hot, so I wanted to grill.  I did the prep and asked him to grill.  Voila – 15 minutes later yummy chicken kabobs.

It was not always this easy with T1.  I would say he was my most challenging one.  But he has matured and I have grown, changed, let go.  And I am enjoying T1 so much!

Posted by: enjoybirth | June 13, 2012

A Miracle for T2

T2 joined a travelling musical theater group back in October.  It was stressful at fist becase he had already committed to soccer and doing both was overwhelming, but he loved it so it was worth it.


He has had a great few months with this team and when they got invited to go to Nationals he was so excited.


I was really torn about it.  The cost was prohibitive.  I figured even if we did it as cheap as possible it would run us at least $2500. But then I got a doula client (I wasn’t planning on taking any for this whole school year, mostly because of the performances with the team, but this was a repeat client and the timing worked out.)  I had some other money saved, so I said that we could do it, but he couldn’t go to any other camps this summer.


I sat down to buy the plane tickets one Saturday morning before a meeting about it, the prices were good, but I just felt like I shouldn’t yet.    That morning right after that meeting is when T1 fell and broke his jaw and arm.  We have insurance, but our max out of pocket is $10,000 and when one night in the PICU costs well over $10,000, not to mention the surgeries, etc we knew we were going to meet that deductible.


The plans for Nationals were put on hold.  Once I had a chance to think about it and look at expenses, etc we decided that it wouldn’t work for this year.  T2 was a good sport about it. He was really disappointed, but he understood.


I told him, “If it is meant to be then God will provide a way.”  He agreed that was true.  We prayed about it for awhile.


I tried to work out a few things, but it felt like a lot of work and I just didn’t see how it would work out, so I forgot about it.  I put it in God’s hands, but I figured it just wouldn’t happen and that was fine.


Last Saturday was T2’s last practice with the team.  He was so sad about it. Most of the team was going to nationals and they would keep on practicing over the next month or so. He had me pick him up early from a Scout campout so he wouldn’t miss practice.


When I dropped him off I was talking to 2 of the dance team moms and it came up that T2 wasn’t going to nationals. I explained why and they said it was too bad and how much they enjoyed T2.


I went on with my busy Saturday.  When I went to pick him up Miss Tracey told me that these moms had offered to pay for T2’s plane ticket to nationals and that he could stay in the house Ms Tracey rented and that really we would only have to cover the cost of food.  I was shocked.  I gathered info and said we would think about it.  They had National practice that afternoon and Tracey asked if he could stay.  I took him to lunch to talk about things.  When I told him the tears came.


I had thought about sending him alone before but it seemed so big and scary that I just couldn’t go there.   But it seemed like God put this opportunity into our lap and I felt good about it.  We had a good talk over lunch.  He wanted to stay for practice that afternoon, I told him it was only 80% sure we would do it.  We needed to really pray about it together with the family first, etc.  But he was happy to stay and I figured it would work out.


So here we are and the tickets have been bought and there are a little more details to figure out.  But, I feel surprisingly OK that I am sending my 11 year old across the country with a group of families that are really amazing.  I know he will be cared for and watched over.


As the grandmas both pointed out – a lot of kids go away for summer camp with people their parents don’t know at all.  So he will be fine.


I think the thing that makes me extra happy is that I had extra money at Christmas time and gave it to a family in need.  I did think of that when T1 had his accident and the bills were coming in.  I thought, “What if I hadn’t given that money, then T2 could go.”  But I knew that money was meant for that family.  I had been prompted many, many times to give it to them.  So I let that thought go really quickly.  I did wonder though if I would be quick to give the next time I had an opportunity and prompting.


But when these moms offered to pay, I felt like my gift I had given was somehow passed through energetically and came back to my family to bless us.   God is in charge and He blesses us in many ways.

Posted by: enjoybirth | April 14, 2012

T1 Grounded and Resilient

I brought T1 to my Massage Therapist/Therapist after his bike ride to help his heal physically.

He didn’t talk much, but he did say the massage helped.

When I went back to see Pam she said, “T1 is incredibly grounded and so resilient.  You don’t really need to worry about him, he seems to be able to handle anything.”

That is certainly a blessing from this experience, nothing seems to slow him down or get him down.  He is frustrated because he is somewhat limited in what he can do.  He has read tons of books and it really looking forward to getting back out biking and running around with his friends again.

Posted by: enjoybirth | April 14, 2012

T1 – Broken Jaw and Arm

I posted this a few weeks ago on The Gift of Giving Life blog, but I need it here too.

Just a Broken Arm

This past weekend he went camping with Rob (my hubby) and they had a bike ride planned for the next morning.

Saturday morning I was busy carting around T2 and T3 to their activities. T2 was at his Saturday practice and I was at basketball with T3 when I got a call from Rob. It was loud in the gym, so I didn’t answer. I texted him back and said, “Text me.”

11:22 He texted me, “T1 broke his arm. Call Me.”

I called him immediately. They were up about 5 miles in on a trail. Rob had called the ranger station and they were coming to pick them up. He wanted me to come up so I could drive them to the hospital, because that morning the battery in his car had been dead.

Getting the other boys taken care of.

I texted a Mom from T2′s group to see if she could take him home. I figured I had to trust that somehow he would be able to get home. She texted back about 20 minutes later saying it was fine.  By then I was almost up the mountain, so it was a blessing she could do it!

I went back in and asked Bethany if she could take T3 for the afternoon. She was happy to do that. She actually helped talk me down, because I was starting to freak out. She said, “I guess you can’t listen to your hypnosis CDs, but stay calm.” That was the reminder I needed. I knew that staying calm and centered was going to be the best way to deal with this. At this point I had no idea how bad it was. I was thinking a simple broken arm.

Luckily I had snacks in the car, so I ate some protein while the GPS was loading up the directions to the wilderness park. I had a 30 minute drive ahead of me. I turned on some hymns and said a prayer and headed out.

First a Fire Truck then an Ambulance

I felt really calm on the canyon road until a fire engine with lights came up behind me. I thought, “That can’t be for T1.” A few minutes later an ambulance came zooming up. “That can’t be for T1.” I said again, but I sort of knew it was. I decided if it was, it was just precautionary. I was starting to freak out again.  I reminded myself to say calm and followed a little tip I had learned for centering myself. That helped immensely.

I pulled into the wilderness center and there were the emergency vehicles. They were there for him, but he wasn’t down from the trails yet. He got to the emergency vehicles about 10 minutes later. They set to work immediately checking him out.

T1 was completely aware and calm too. So that helped me stay calm. He was really worried about his teeth and jaw, those were really hurting, but the rescue workers assured him his teeth were all there.

Rob and I hugged and I checked to see how he was doing. He was hanging in there.

The emergency workers wanted to take him in as a trauma, they were worried about a head injury, etc. So we were fine with that. I drove down in the van, Rob stayed behind to have the ranger jump his truck and load up the bikes and the ambulance took T1.

Getting to the Hospital

When I got to the hospital, there was a chaplain there to help me stay calm while he was in trauma. She would go in to the trauma room and get updates. It looked like he was doing well. She said the next step was a CAT scan to make sure all was really well with his brain and spine. I continued to feel very calm and just knew he would be OK. I got to walk with him to the CAT scan room and then more waiting. That is when I posted my first Facebook update.

1:22 “T1 fell mountain biking and we r at hospital. He for sure broke an arm. Getting cat scan to make sure all else is ok. Would love some prayers.”

I figured the more prayers the better. I didn’t know what to do while just waiting and Rob wasn’t there yet, so I felt pretty lonely. The chaplain had moved onto the next trauma, so I was standing alone in the hall for about 10 minutes. Posting to Facebook helped me feel connected.

They came out of the CAT scan and the nurse says, “Brain and neck look great!” We headed back to the trauma room, where it was very exciting because a GSW was being brought in. We heard quite a lot of activity on the other side of the curtain.

I still had no clue about his jaw being broken. His face was all bloody, but I thought it was from a bloody nose. Then I overheard my nurse saying “fractured mandible”. That didn’t sound good. I Googled it and saw – broken jaw.

2:00 Crap. Looks like his jaw is broken too.

Rob got there not long after and I let him know. Then we all waited to meet with the Oral Myofacial Surgeon and the Orthopedist. We knew he would need surgery for the jaw for sure but were not sure about the arm. Luckily T1 wasn’t in much pain. He was resting easily and I was making calls trying to find someone who could come in and do a blessing with Rob for T1 before the surgery. The first person I called was out of the area. The next one was on the way to the temple, so I asked them to put T1′s name on the prayer roll! It was on there before he made it into surgery. I was also texting family and certain friends letting them know what was up, making sure the little boys were taken care of for the night.

It was a huge blessing that T1 had braces, because they held his 2 front teeth in, they would have fallen out without the braces. Also if the braces were intact he could just wire those together instead of putting in screws.

The Orthopedist came in and said he would need to do surgery on his arm as well. He was going to put in a plate in his arm (radius) and then a pin in his wrist because he dislocated that. He was running behind on his schedule so wasn’t sure if he would have time to do the surgery. I wanted to tell him, “We are going to have a lot of people praying it will work out, so I am sure it will happen.”

Finally by 4 PM we knew the details and were heading up to the PICU to wait for surgery.

Looks like he needs surgery on jaw and arm. Please pray that if it is best for him they can do it simultaneously or back to back tonight so he only needs to go under anesthesia one time right now. He will be getting a plate in his arm which will have to be removed in 6 months.

I really would love him to have both surgeries tonight. So please pray dr Peterson will have time tonight to make that happen.

Also pray his braces are all intact so that the other surgeon can simply wire the braces together and it is much less invasive.

Surgery slated for 6:30. Thanks for all your prayers and support.

I felt very confident that both surgeries would happen that night and all would be well. I literally felt the power of the prayers being offered. It was so amazing!

Rob ran home to shower and gather some items to make our stay more comfortable. Socks, sweater and book to read.

T1 rested, he looked horrible all bloody still, but was fine. It was a huge blessing that he wasn’t in a lot of discomfort. I actually had used the information from the book I read and started using it on him with the ambulance guys. I told the guy riding with him that he was very suggestible and that if he told him that he could imagine ice on his arm it would help it stay more comfortable. Then when I first talked to him in the hospital I said, “Your body is already starting to heal. If you want to you can go somewhere else in your mind that feels safe.” Well T1 rolled his eyes at that, but soon after is when he drifted off and took a little nap.


Rob and our friend Chris both made it to the hospital just as they were about to take T1 down to surgery. So they gave him a blessing and it was very comforting.


Chris left and Rob and I headed down to surgery with T1. I told his anesthesiologist and surgeons to use only positive language during the surgery and to say things like, “You will heal quickly and easily. Your stomach stays calm and comfortable.” (a big worry with a wired jaw is throwing up after surgery) They looked amused but said they would.

Once T1 went in Rob and I went to get dinner from the cafeteria. We both felt very confident that things would go smoothly. They also said that both surgeries would be able to be done that night! So we were relieved about that. After eating we went back to the surgery waiting room and contacted all the grandparents and Rob’s sister and updated them.

The first part was over.

8:10 Thanks for all the prayers. His first part of the surgery is done. His jaw is wired shut and they were able to use his braces to do so. What a blessing!

Also they are able to do surgery on arm tonight too. That is happening now. Another great blessing!

The time passed quickly and after about 4 hours the surgeries were over. I was a little nervous to go in and see him, but he was awake and alert and looked all cleaned up.

The doctors and nurses were all so pleased. He had minimal blood loss, no vomiting and was having a fast recovery. We headed up to PICU not long after. Once we got settled Rob headed home.

Surgery is over. He is doing awesome. Minimal blood loss and recovering well. He does have a slight fever so we are praying for that to go down quickly.
If all goes well we will probably go home tomorrow.

After T1 fell asleep I got to sleep in a bed in the Ronald McDonald sleep room they had. It was 4 hours of good solid sleep.


Then I woke up and went back to him just as he was really waking up for the day around 5am. I knew he was feeling better because when I said, “How are you doing?” He said, “Mom, stop using your compassionate voice!”

6:45 am We had a good night. His fever is down, he slept pretty well. His arm hurts a bit but his jaw is ok. He gets a smoothy soon.

I love our hospital. Everyone is so great. There is a Ronald McDonald family area with sleep rooms so I actually got 4 hours of good sleep too.

I am doing ok. I love all my friends, they are taking care of the other boys and offering help and prayers. I feel all of your love and T1 does too.

That day went pretty quickly. Watching movies, drinking Ensure and walking around. By 1:30 they said we could go home and we were home by 2:30. We got him in the bath, got him all clean and then his friends came over and then more and more visitors with smoothies, shakes, etc. Jenn brought the little boys home with yummy enchiladas for the rest of us. By 6 he was sleeping on the sofa.

It felt so good to have everyone home and safe and well.

Monday and Tuesday

The next few days were actually a bit more stressful then Saturday and Sunday. I felt overwhelmed being on my own and the other boys got sick.

We got home yesterday from the hospital. We had quite a few visitors when we got home and a yummy dinner (for the rest of us) from Jenn. T1 is doing well. He slept well last night and is still sleeping now.

The harder part right now is the other boys. They felt a bit left out of the whole experience and T3 was especially needy and asked, “Why is T1 more important than me??” He is finally off to school. Sadly T2 is home sick, his throat is bothering him and I said he could stay home. But he is being high need.

I am ignoring him while I try to get the house back in somewhat of an order (dirty dishes and laundry – I want all hospital germy clothes cleaned) before T1 wakes up.

The next day I wised up and asked for prayers to help me get through the day!

REALLY???? T2 and T3 are both sick with bad colds and my throat is starting to get sore too. I could use some prayers to help me stay healthy and to have the calmness and kindness to nurse 3 boys simultaneously with love.

That actually helped a lot and each day has gotten easier since then. We have a new routine going and life is good!



Posted by: enjoybirth | April 14, 2012

The 3 things T2 likes

The other night T2 said, “I like these 3 things.”

  1. To get nice compliments… that are sincere.
  2. Singing, Acting and Dancing… though I need to get better at dancing.
  3. All that spiritual stuff.

He has been in this pretty easy stage of playing with friends and toys and being pretty happy and content.

But in the last few weeks he has started wanting to CREATE things.  He gets an idea and wants to MAKE what he thinks up.

Sounds lovely and wonderful.  I do love that I have creative boys.  But this is the stage that gets harder for me.  The things he thinks up are way too hard for him to create on his own.

From the Tooth Tree

to the Cardboard Skateboard, he needs assistance in making these things into actual things.

If it was one thing a week, or even one thing a day I could handle it.  But he makes one thing and then is ready to make something else!  If he could we would make multiple things a day.

Posted by: enjoybirth | March 9, 2012

Did you fall in love today?

T3 asked T2 this.  T2 said, “No.”

T3 said, “I did.  Not at school, at the park.  She was so cute it made my heart pound.”

He was very smitten.  :)

Posted by: enjoybirth | February 23, 2012

The Maturity of T1?

Our trip to Utah was fun, but it created a challenge for T1.

Normally he is on top of homework. I don’t have to do anything.  No reminding, no nagging, nothing!  He gets As and Bs and is independent.

Well he missed 4 days of school on this trip.  He was responsible for getting his homework and he worked on it an hour or two almost every day without much coaxing from us.

When we got home I asked Rob to confirm everything had been finished before he went to hang out with his friends on Monday (a school holiday)

He hadn’t done all his math so he and Rob worked on it for an hour.  Rob explaining what he didn’t understand, etc.  We thought it was all done!

Then I went online yesterday (Wednesday) to be sure all his homework had been turned in.  It hadn’t.  He had a D in English because a 100 point paper hadn’t’ been done.  In talking with T1 I found out he hadn’t done it and hadn’t told Rob on Monday because he wanted to go be with his friends.

I said, ‘If you want to go to the church youth activity tonight, you need to get this paper done before you go.”

Then I headed out for 3 hours taking T2 to his CSS practices.  T3 was at gymnastics with a friend, Thanks Jenn, so T1 had plenty of time and space to get it done.

Well, when I got home at 6:30 he had about 3 sentences done.  The activity started at 7.  I knew it was futile, but I reminded him, “That will need to be done in order to go.”

As expected there was much anger and frustration when at 7 I said he couldn’t go.  Luckily I had plans so I was leaving, so he had no one to fight against except himself.  (Rob wasn’t’ going to be home until 8)  I tucked T3 in bed and left to T1 yelling at me, “You are SO mean!”

I came home at 10:30 and he was finishing up everything and he said, “Sorry I was mad at you mom.”

I thought maybe Rob had told him to say that, but no on his own he felt that and said it.

So while his maturity isn’t complete, I think he is well on the way at 14.

I did learn to be more on top of his homework on vacations. He can be independent with it at home in normal circumstances but needs some help when we are away for a long period of time.


Posted by: enjoybirth | February 23, 2012

The Intuitiveness of T2

T2 has had a very exciting school year.

It was interesting because the day before school started Rob had given him a blessing which said in part, “You will find ways to develop and express your musical capabilities.  Your friends and family will help you find ways.”   It also said, “Heavenly Father is there, He listens to your prayers and is aware of the desires of your heart.  He guides and directs you so you can achieve what you want to do that is righteous.”

He was signed up for piano lessons, but he wasn’t happy about it and praying about it I didn’t feel that it was right at this time, so we dropped out of piano.  I had no idea how he was going to be developing those capabilities but felt certain something would come our way.

He was playing soccer for AYSO in the fall and having a relaxing year.  Doing guitar at school and planning on being in the school play.  Then he tried out for his school musical.

When he sang his director asked,”Who do you train with?”

He had no idea what she was talking about, because he doesn’t train with anyone, he just loves to sing.

A week later she contacted us to see if he was interested in joining CSS United, her studios traveling Musical Theater Group.  We pondered and prayed and said yes. In large part because of the blessing he had been given.  I knew this would be a huge time commitment and juggling it with soccer would be exhausting, but this was an answer to that blessing, we both felt sure.

The fall from that point on was exhausting and overwhelming.

  • Soccer practice
  • School Musical Practice
  • CSS United Practice
  • CSS Dance Class
  • CSS Voice Class
  • Scouts
  • School
  • all the other normal stuff

But he was loving CSS United and so it was all worth it.  But we were all so excited for soccer to be over!

Soccer ended and the holidays were upon us.  He had some little performances and parades, etc.

Quite a few of his friends from school and CSS United were preparing to audition for Orange County School of Arts and T2 wanted to try out too.  I prayed about it and felt strongly that he was fine at Journey for 7th grade, that we would wait for 8th grade or High School for that.  We talked about it and he was fine with waiting.

In January he played Fiero in Wicked and the show was great!

Then it was time for our exciting month!  February we traveled to Las Vegas for Access Broadway where CSS United did awesome!  T2 loved performing and only wished he had done a solo and monologue, maybe next year!  Then the next weekend was a competition at Disneyland.

Between these two performances he had to decide if he wanted to be in the next musical – The Little Mermaid.  We figured out which day would work best for our schedule and I was willing to drive him to an extra practice each week.  Then he told me, “Mom, I decided I need a little break and am not going to be in it.”  At first I fought him on it a bit.  Then he finally said, “Mom I PRAYED about it and I am not supposed to do it.”

Well, what could I say to that?  I was just happy that on his own he thought to pray about it and he trusted in his answer.

The Disneyland competition was amazing and fun.

We flew up to Utah to join Rob and the other things for a ski trip.  Finally plain old relaxation!!

I got home and had 3 different people tell me if I wanted T2 to go to OCSHA the best chance was to get him in for 7th grade.  I started worrying I had made the wrong choice!  I went online and saw we were too late to do normal registration, but if we registered late we maybe could still get an audition spot if one opened up.  I was getting all worried and freaking out a bit.  I called a friend who has a daughter there and called another friend and decided that I would try to make it happen.

I talked to T2 about it and told him what I had found out, that 7th grade is the easiest way to get in and I would do all I can to help him. I was rambling on and on.

He said, “Mom, listen to me.  I feel like my job at Journey isn’t done.  I still have more to do there.”

My soul calmed down and I said, “So that is our answer?”  He replied confidently, “Yes.”

It is interesting how I was so calm about it, knowing it was fine to wait to try out for T2, but then other peoples anxiety got me worried and I got a bit frantic.

But T2 knows and trusts his intuition and doesn’t let my worries get to him.  :)

I am grateful for his intuitiveness.  I am grateful that he has faith and turns to God for guidance and trusts in the answers he gets.

I know that if he is meant to go to OSCHA then he will get in when the time is right.  If he doesn’t then it wasn’t meant to be.  He has a job to finish at Journey and he needs to do that first.  ;)

Posted by: enjoybirth | February 10, 2012

The Sweetness of T3

T3 is 6 now and is still mostly sweet.  He does have the attitude of “You’re not the boss of ME!”

He loves to snuggle with me and give me hugs and kisses.

He loves to tell me all about his day and share his treasures he finds in nature.

His great uncle died over a week ago and he has been pondering death and how it would be sad if he died because he would miss me.  I reassure him that he will live until he is very old (like his great uncle)  I also reassured him that when people die their timing is different then ours.  I imagine that a year for us is like a minute for them.  So he wouldn’t have to wait long to see and hug me.

All his pondering on death makes me sad because while of course I hope he dies when he is an old man, I know that sometimes children die.  He knows that too because his good friend Joey’s big brother Russell died when he was 4.  Seeing Jenny (his mom) survive losing her child is inspiring and heartbreaking.

I know T3 is healthy, we just went to the doctor for his 6 year old check up and all is well.  But you never know what can happen in one little instance!

T1 fell off a cliff on a biking trip before Christmas and since then I have been struggling with a feeling of foreboding.  A little Massage Therapy Therapy helped me let go of that, as well as in Yoga Class our teacher had us pick out cards and I picked out this saying

I move through life, knowing I am safe.  Divinely Guided and Protected.

So I give my fears up to God and know that I am doing all I can do to keep my family safe and well.   The rest is in His hands.  I also have been reassured through prayers that whatever comes our way in life we will have the strength to handle it.

I am hoping for only joy and sunshine.  :)  The eternal optimist.

Then yesterday I pick up T3 from school and he says, “Mom I found the best treasure today!  It is beautiful.”

He pulls out a heart shaped rock, holds it up to his heart and says “I” then points at his heart shaped rock at his heart – and then points at me.

It was so bittersweet because Jenny finds heart rocks all the time and sees them as signs from Russell, that he still loves her.

So this very simple act of him finding a heart shape rock and telling me he loves me like that was beautiful and scary too.

Stay here on earth with me, I want your warm snuggly hugs every day.  I don’t want heart rocks, I want YOU!


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