Turning points… Mine was the summer after my Freshman Year of college, but the story starts years before.

 

I had been going to church and early morning seminary since I was 15 (a story for another day)  My parents wouldn’t let me get baptized until I was 18, so I headed off to Vanderbilt at 17.   I had wanted to go to BYU, but my parents wouldn’t pay for me to go there.  (Many years later when I started my graduate work at BYU my parents had the audacity to ask, Why didn’t you go to BYU as an undergraduate?”  They realized they would have saved about $60,000.)

 

My home Bishop was supposed to call the Bishop down in Nashville, who was supposed to call me.  When the first Sunday approached, with no phone call, I looked up the church in the Yellow Pages (this was pre-internet) and called up the Bishop.  He arranged for someone to pick me up, as I had no car and lived about 20 minutes car ride from the church building.    I approached the Missionaries at church and told them I needed the discussions and wanted to be baptized on the 26^th (my 18^th birthday).  I am sure it was a happy day for them!  I took the discussions, invited some of my new friends from college to see some videos (Families are Forever, etc)  There was a bit of a stir because the 26^th was a Monday and apparently you are not supposed to do baptisms on Monday.  But I was insistent, I had been waiting 3 years, I wasn’t going to wait an extra day!   They arranged to have the Single Family Home Evening group make my baptism the FHE activity, which apparently made it ok.  J 

 

Well, a lot of different things happened my freshman year.  I had very little support, I was one of the only members at Vanderbilt, certainly the only active one.   I had no car, so had to depend on rides to get there.  I made some bad choices and slowly fell into inactivity.  I still knew the church was true, I still read at least a verse of scripture every day.  I really felt like I could do THAT right, even if I was not doing so great in other areas, I could read a verse of scriptures every day.  Really sometimes that was the only thing that kept me going.    I felt really bad about the person I was becoming, but felt helpless, pulled along with the tide.

 

Freshman year ended and I headed home.  The first Sunday I got up and dressed and headed to church.  The closer I got the bigger the pit in my stomach was.  I wasn’t worthy to go to church, I had been doing bad things, I didn’t belong there.  I got to the church, drove into the parking lot and then drove out of the parking lot and headed home.  This was my turning point.  As I was headed home I was crying.  I wanted to go to church, I wanted to change.  What should I do?  Luckily I turned around, luckily I parked the car and went into the church.  Luckily my good friends Mike and Alain were preparing for their missions that summer and they provided me the love and support to turn my life around! 

 

That summer was a summer of change, it was the summer that I truly accepted and believed in my core that I was a daughter of God, that I was worthy of love, that I was of infinite worth.  I had learned it before, I knew it, I understood it, but I didn’t accept it truly deep down inside until then.  It was a turning point of my life.  I think it is when I became who I really am.  I loved myself! 

 

How did I make this change?  Well I surrounded myself with only positive things.  I listened only to Christian radio or positive thinking tapes (pre CD days) Like Anthony Robbins, etc.  I really changed the way I thought about myself.  I was a pretty positive person about the world, but not myself before this.  I also credit Alain and Mike for being GREAT friends that summer.  We hung out a lot and talked about spiritual things.  They were preparing for their missions and I felt like I was preparing for my mission of life right along with them.  We lifted each other up and had a lot of fun.  I went to church and all the activities there were that summer.  I made good choices and repented of the bad ones I had made.  It was a great summer!

 

In August Mike and Alain headed off for their missions and I headed back to Vanderbilt.  Suddenly I was scared.  Would I be able to handle the pressures of school and the temptations there?   How would I get to church this year?  AHHHHH!!!!  As my dad dropped me off I said to him, “Don’t leave me here with these bad people.”  But he did and I rallied. 

 

That year there were actually other Mormons there.  Jon, a law student with a CAR!  Then 2 freshman girls Kirsten and June.  We all rode to church together each week, with 2 of us sitting in the hatchback part of Jon’s car.  We even started an Institute program that year.  We discovered DeDe a wonderful girl who was a Jr. who was less active, but came to our FHE every Monday.  I found I was able to stay active and true to my beliefs fairly easily.  With a little support and good friends and an understanding of WHO I was, it wasn’t that hard. 

 

Later in the year I got to have my car up at school because I had a part time job with another member of the church and then I was able to give rides to other students at different schools.  I loved being able to serve like that!